Sunday - Day 1 11:30pm
I'm feeling pretty sick right now. I think I'm going to sleep soon.
The day started out kind of boring. We had to do this fire drill
where everyone put on their life preserver's and headed out to their
life boats, in case of emergency. That sucked. Those things are
uncomfortable. They tell us to remain calm, but I personally think
that people will be panicking if they know the boat is sinking.
We ate dinner soon after that, but I couldn't eat much feeling a bit
dizzy at the time. But I found out I could order as many entrees as I
wanted. And then we went the the magic show after dinner. It was
weak. I wasn't very impressed. Afterwards, I walked around a bit and
went back to my room to sleep. This boat is really moves. We move
the clock forward an hour tonight.
Monday - Day 2 11:00pm
I'm feeling much better today. I took some motion sickness medicine
today, but of course I took some yesterday, and it didn't do anything
for me. I just think I'm getting used to the boat moving around. Up
and down. Side to side. Everywhere.
It was pretty windy during the day. We try to go to the putting
contest after lunch, but it was too windy, so we watched the hoola
hoop contest and the hairy men's chest contest. Those two women
judges were pretty tough on some of the contestants. But it was
pretty funny.
I found out that the formal dinner was tonight. Man that suit was
uncomfortable. But the food was good though. I had to hold out on
the snacks during the day so I could eat a big dinner tonight.
Prawns for appetizers. Lobster tail. Prime rib. Lobster tail. Nice
dinner.
I just finished watching Monday night football a while ago. The
midnight buffet is coming in about an hour, so I'll be going there
soon. I had to miss it last night because I was sleeping, but I'm not
going to miss it tonight.
We'll be hitting land in two days. Puerto Vallarta on Wednesday.
Mazatlan on Thursday. And Cabo San Lucas on Friday. I think I'll be
going on the Unimog outback adventure when we get to Puerto Vallarta.
I'll talk more about that later.
We'll be losing another hour tonight. So I'm going to have to go to
sleep soon after the midnight buffet if I want to get to that
animation art auction tomorrow morning. I hope I win.
addendum (1:32am Day 4):
The midnight buffet was nice. They had crepes. Make your own crepes.
Finally had the pizza everyone was talking about. But more people
here now than during the lunch. Crazy.
Gambling after the buffet. Played some face-up blackjack.
Rules:
Dealer plays hand face up
Push - dealer wins
Blackjacks equal money
Rest of rules same as regular 21
It's pretty fun not having to think about gambling. And it's pretty
fun having to hit on 20. Won a hundred bucks in less than 15 minutes.
Tuesday - Day 3 (1:32am Day 4)
Plan for the day:
9:15am: Wakeup
10:00am: Eat breakfast
10:30am: Golf putting contest
11:00am: Animation Auction
12:00pm: Lunch
12:30pm - 4:00pm: Blackjack tournament
1:00pm: Adult pillow fighting contest
2:30pm: Game Show
3:15pm: Bingo
4:00pm: Galley tour
6:00pm: Dinner
8:30pm: Show
So the day started out pretty early. No more sea sickness.
After eating breakfast, I went to go watch my dad, uncle and
grandfather go play in the putting contest. It wasn't much of a
putting contest. All there was was a little putting mat on the
ground. 3 of the 8 people competing are from my family. Seeing how
all of them golf, we should have good chance of winning that 24 carat
gold plastic ship on a stick. Man! We all lost. That's our first
missed opportunity.
We then headed to the animation auction. There was this Simpson's one
and the Garfield one's that I wanted. Man. There was some good
demand for that Simpson's one. Good thing they had a few of them.
Each at 110 bucks each. And we also got a few Garfield one's. Yeah.
It was a nice auction. Better than that fine art auction.
I was then off to lunch.
We went to see the adult pillow fighting contest. We only saw the end
of it, but it was pretty exciting. The men were going at it. They
had some nice blows. I don't know how they could shake each other's
hand afterwards. I guess some of you might wonder how you have a
pillow fighting contest. Well the two contestants sat on this
pipe-like thing and they hit each other until someone hits the
ground. I think I could have one that contest. I have the power and
the stability.
3 of us entered the blackjack contest. My time, 1:40. My uncle's
time, 1:50. My brother's time, 2:00.
Rules:
Qualifying Round:
7 hands
Min bet: 100 dollars, Max bet: 500 dollars
1000 dollars
Top seven money makers go to final round
Final Round:
I don't know. I didn't get that far.
So I was the first to go. Top seven scores so far. Number one - 4000
dollars. Number seven - 2900. So my goal was to beat 2900. Strategy
is different. Got to bet the max and try to get the most money. I
did alright. Of course I was out of it by the last hand. One hand
left. 1000 bucks left. What should I do? Got a 19. Alright. Let's
double down. Double down cards dealt face down. Dealer busts. What
I get baby? An ace. Yeah. Finish with 2000. Rest of my family
didn't do too well. My uncle got wiped out in 4 hands. My dad joined
my brother's group and got wiped out in the first 2 hands. My brother
joined him the next hand. Oh well. Another missed opportunity. Now
0 for 2.
Almost 2:30, so we head out to the lounge for the game show game.
Before the show, people put their names into a pot and whatever names
get picked, go participate in the game. They had four games of four
different contestants. In the last game, my 12 year-old cousin gets
picked, but she refuses to go up. And they were giving away those 24
carat gold plastic ships away to the winner. Man! I would have gone
up with her if she wanted to go up, but no. I would have won too.
I'm faster than those guys. I'm smarter than those guys. We would
have dominated. Another missed opportunity. Now 0 for 3.
Immediately after the game show, there was bingo. Alright. 5 games.
Time to win some money. We got 12 tickets and 5 games. We have a
chance. First game. Nothing. Second game. Nothing. Third game.
Nothing. Fourth game. Nothing. Fifth game. Nothing. Again. We
blanked out. Ahh.... 0 for 4.
Time for the tour of the galley. We go through the dining room, and
kitchen. Nice kitchen.
Time to eat. Escargot, lobster bisque, salad, jerked pork loin,
chocolate souflette, cheesecake, vanilla ice cream. And coke.
Time for the nightly show. Suppose to be a comedian tonight. But hey.
They got watches on sale in front. Let's look... A drawing you say.
Oh, but the drawing is closed and we can't enter. "Our first winner
is M-32." M-32? Hey that's my room. Oh yeah! I got me a citrine
jewel. It's appraised at 50 bucks. And it's my birthstone. Finally
we get something.
The show was alright. The comedian was funny, but singer/fiddler dude
was boring. Bill Armstrong, I think. #1 fiddler in the world or
something. But I don't dig fiddles.
Comedian has an adult only R rated show at midnight. Pretty funny
stuff. Now it's time to sleep. Got to wake up early tomorrow morning
for the Unimog outback. Pretty fun day today. Most productive day so
far.
Wednesday - Day 4 (12:30am Day 5)
Unimog Outback
Pros:
4 wheel drive off roading in a Unimog
Free lunch, free beverages
Cool tour guide
The beach
The drinking game
Cons:
The drinking game
The 1.5 mile hike in the jungle
Lengthy drives on "paved" roads with wind blowing in my face.
The Unimog
The 1.5 mile hike in the jungle
I started out the day early. 9:15am start time for the Unimog
outback. 6 of us went. Nick, Sandy, Emily, Helen, and Tiffany
(brother, uncle, brother's girlfriend, brother's girlfriend's sister,
and cousin). We go out to place to get to our Unimogs.
Much to my disappointment, the Unimogs weren't what I expected.
They're suppose to be offroading Mercedes trucks. I was expecting
something like a nice hummer, but what I got was a military like
truck. Like those trucks that carry the soldiers in the back of the
truck. Remember Die Hard 2 and the truck those military dudes had to
ride in. One like that, except only the top was there cover. Front,
side, back. Nothing.
So it takes a while to get to the jungle from our boarding place.
Mexico is a very poor place, but hey if they're happy, that's fine.
But we drive through the many villages and towns and stuff and look at
the villages and the people and stuff. It was alright. We stop at
one town centre and then take off for the jungle.
Offroading is pretty tough. I felt a few times that we would flip
over, but it never did. Before boarding the Unimog we had to sign
this waver saying that we know certain risks, i.e. getting bitten by
insects and reptiles, the truck possibly flipping over. Stuff like
that. So we driving and we driving. The jungle is alright, but it
ain't incredibly exciting, but we offroading. The dusts that hits
your face sucks. Finally we stop somewhere in the jungle, and that's
the place where we start hiking.
If you guys didn't know, part of Predator was shot the jungles of
Puerto Vallarta. I was hoping to see him.
So after a beverage break, we go start on our hike through the damn
jungle. Now the hike wasn't really that bad. It was nice of them
having soda when we reached the end. It was tiring, yeah. But the
worse part of was the miles of cow poop and horse poop along the
trail. "I've never seen so much crap in my life" - Nick. I couldn't
look around in the jungle much cause I was too busy looking at where I
step. I had brand new shoes too. Got mud all over them. I avoided
all the big chunks of poop, but I know there's leftover poop stuck in
the sand and mud. Nasty.
After this hike, we head off to the beach to eat. Of course we have
to use the highway, whatever that is. Imagine sitting in an open air
truck going 60 mph for half an hour. It's nasty. No convertables for
me.
At the beach we get a barbeque. Some donkey meat, maybe. El burro.
After lunch, we go taunt the waves. My family is stupid so we go
taunt the waves in our shoes. The waves were nice and big. And of
course we're going to get wet. Good thing I was wearing short. Not
so good for my brother. Best part was when my cousin got hit by the
wave and fell into the water. Kicking water and dirt in our face.
She deserved it.
So here's a drinking game for you drunks out there. Anytime you say
"no" you have to take a shot. You shake your head no, you take a
shot. You wave your hand no. You take a shot. Simple game. Man.
You guys will be drunk. This is what we did on our way back to
civilization. Good thing my cousin took away the alcohol. She's only
12. Tequila is pretty nasty.
So after we get back to the port, my uncle and I experience the best
part our day. The bull fighting. We get there a little late, but we
get to see the end of the bull fight. I see the dude stick the sword
into the bull's neck, and finally dies. The guy was all bloody, and
apparently he got trampled on by the bull. Damn. Missed it.
So here's how the go fighting a bull. When they release it, it's got
a knife stuck in it's neck, so it's pissed and tries to kill
everything. After the dude plays around with it a bit with it's cape,
some dude on a horse comes in with his spear and pokes it on its back
so it bleeds more and slows down. They then on foot put in 4 or 6
arrow like hooks into it's back. After the dude plays with it a
little while, he sticks the sword through it's neck and into the body
basically killing it, and victory is achieved. Some other dude then
comes in and sticks a knife in its brain, ending its misery. It's
pretty sad. I was rooting for the bull.
Now on to the specifics.
Three more bulls left. Next guy up. Ruben. Show off. Cocky fool.
After sticking the hook things in it, he plays with the bull with his
cape. And he thinks he's all bad ass. Well, he couldn't even kill
the bull. He tried five times to stick the sword into the bull, but
couldn't do it. He got booed off. The audience was basically all
American. Man we're mean. But the bull won that match. The bull
wouldn't go down even after all the dudes tried to kill. Poor bull.
Next match. Julio (the matador) vs Oscar (the bull). Immediately I
saw that this Julio was going to be good. They release the bull, and
it starts running around the ring. Julio gets on his knees and does
this fancy move with his cape as the bull goes flying by. Nice.
After they stick the hook things into it, Julio starts to play with
bull. First move Julio tries to pull. A behind the back move. BAM!
The bull hits him right in the ass. It tears Julio's pants and now
he's got a huge hole in his pants. Spandex pants + no underwear =
butt cheek showing. And it was bleeding. One of the funniest things
I've ever seen in my life. The entire crowd was laughing. I almost
cried. He didn't even notice his butt cheek was showing. Five
minutes later he looked left his butt and looked behind and saw he was
bleeding. That was a Kodak moment. My uncle got a picture. I'm
going to ask him for one. I miss Oscar though.
Third match was boring. Some teenanger was fighting Marcelo. He gave
a good fight, but they just crippled him too much. Poor bulls.
Tomorrow. Mazatlan.
Thursday - Day 5 (9:40pm Day 5)
Mazatlan
The tour that we went on was kind of boring. I got a lot of sleep on
the bus. My whole family got a whole lot of sleep on the bus. I must
say I don't think I'm interested in how adobe bricks are made. And I
know I'm not interested in Mexican furniture or pottery. The village
was alright. But it was kind of boring. The Unimog was much better.
The food at the Unimog was better too. And the tour guide was much
better too. We did go shopping today. I got Senor Frog magnet. It's
cute.
I had a nice dinner. Crab appetizer thing. Egg roll. French onion
soup. Veal parmigiana. Filet mignon.
I just got back from gambling. Gambling sucks. Lost 90 bucks. Made
100 bucks a few nights ago. Now I'm only +10 bucks. Argh...
It's kind of weird having Jay Leno on and it's only 9:30.
10:30 - Guest Talent Show
Hope this is enjoying.
addendum (12:36am Day 6):
I just got back from the midnight buffet. Yeah, there was crepes, but
forget about that. I want to talk about the talent show.
That talent show was the best part of the cruise so far. The guest
were all great. There were singers, dancers, kung fu dude, and what
not. But the best part was the end of the show. Man. I was crying.
That was
soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny.
That was better than the bull fighting. That had to mark one of the
funniest moments of my life if not the funniest. I can't explain it.
You had to have seen it live. I can get a tape later, but that
definitely won't be as good. Oh man. That show made the whole cruise
worth it.
Friday - Day 6 (1:30am Day 7)
Cabo San Lucas
We didn't have much time to spend at Cabo today. We arrived at 7 and
had to leave at noon. And we all know that I'm not going to be up and
ready at 7. So no excursions for us. We had to take a boat from the
cruise liner to get to Cabo. Those little boats were a lot less
stable than our big one.
There wasn't much for us to do at Cabo. We went on a glass bottom
boat and went looking at the fish and rocks. Man. That boat was
rocking. Those waves are mean. Of course they had a bunch of
souveneir stands there. Man. Mexico has a so much crap I don't
like. There's just nothing I want to buy. I bought one thing while I
was in Mexico, and that was the Senor Frog's magnet. Every thing else
is just junk. And all the souveneir stands sell the same junk. Oh
well...
I spent most of the afternoon my room today. No good shows on during
the afternoon. Nothing good happening during the day on the ship. So
I took a nap. A nice 2 hour nap. And then I played Civ. What a
day. My uncle napped for about 4 hours. So I'm not that lazy.
There was another formal dinner tonight. The food wasn't as good as
before. The last formal dinner we had prime rib and lobster. All we
had today was duck and shrimp. I guess they have to have different
things on the menu.
The main show tonight was a dance thing. I missed the first one which
was on Monday. I was watching Monday night football. But I decided
to watch this one. Man. Those Elation dancers look pretty good. I'd
have to go with Leah. But they all look pretty good. For the guys,
I'd have to say I like Jason the most. He's the funniest. Those
Elation dancers have got a tough job. They got to double as the bingo
workers too. Whew!
I had bad seats today in the show. I would have gone earlier to get
seats for the show, but I was too busy playing in the blackjack
tournament. I wasn't as lucky this time. I got wiped out on the last
hand. I still did better than my dad. He was gone in two hands. Oh
well...
There was a midnight R rated comedian show tonight. He was okay. It
was another brother. He was better than Jerome, but he wasn't as good
as the fat white dude.
There was the midnight gala buffet tonight. They had food art.
Sweet. Of course this food art doesn't taste as good as the real
buffet food. Since it's being used to make art, it's got to be cold
food, and it just doesn't taste as good as the hot food. I was kind
of disappointed with the food. Oh well.
One more day left for us. A "Fun day at the Sea."
Saturday - Day 7 (Home)
"Fun Day at the Sea"
Fun day at the sea??? More like a horrible day at the sea. The
waters were so rought today. I think a third of the passengers got
seasick today. I was doing alright for most of the day, but toward
the end of the day, the waters were getting some good shots on me.
There wasn't much to do today. I spent most of the day in Mikado
Lounge. Man the ship was rocking. It wasn't a very enjoyable day.
It was cloudy too. The first clouds I've seen in 7 days.
I watched a lot of shows today. Watch the Elation dancers again in
the Holiday Show. Of course most of the show was the kids, but oh
well. I also watched the comedian from last night during the main
show. Pretty boring day.
These rough waters are horrible. I couldn't even eat two entrees
tonight at dinner. I couldn't go to the midnight buffet. Just asking
for trouble when I start eating. No more food for me.
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